The Lost Art
"I can live for two months on one good compliment." – Mark Twain
We live in a pretty ungrateful society. From your boss, to the parents you try to please, to the students you love, rarely will you ever get all the affirmation you deserve. Let me take a minute to tell you that while I challenge you to continue to cultivate the art of affirmation in your ministry, I want to encourage you. I apologize for all the times you've waited too long to receive a decent compliment. Cheesy though it may sound, I mean it when I say that I think you're amazing, and you really are doing a great job.
The Bible says that we don't even give a cup of cold water away in Jesus' name without receiving our reward. When you don't hear the praise of those around you, remember that Jesus is clapping; and all those secret sacrifices you've made will be rewarded.
I've always said that a hungry need is a dangerous need. One of the greatest needs I think our students have is the need for affirmation. It's the reason many of them try to date a bunch of people or give their hearts away too soon and to the wrong person. Early on in youth ministry, I worked to make affirmation a part of my own spiritual DNA. Because it is something I so wanted, it had to be something I've worked to give away. As I look back, I would say much of the success we've had in youth ministry is because we've chosen to build an affirming environment among our staff, our leaders, and our students.
Consciously look for things to praise and be honest and genuine in your affirmation. You will see your students begin to respond, to gain confidence, and to see themselves in the amazing way that God sees them.
"I can live for two months on one good compliment." – Mark Twain
We live in a pretty ungrateful society. From your boss, to the parents you try to please, to the students you love, rarely will you ever get all the affirmation you deserve. Let me take a minute to tell you that while I challenge you to continue to cultivate the art of affirmation in your ministry, I want to encourage you. I apologize for all the times you've waited too long to receive a decent compliment. Cheesy though it may sound, I mean it when I say that I think you're amazing, and you really are doing a great job.
The Bible says that we don't even give a cup of cold water away in Jesus' name without receiving our reward. When you don't hear the praise of those around you, remember that Jesus is clapping; and all those secret sacrifices you've made will be rewarded.
I've always said that a hungry need is a dangerous need. One of the greatest needs I think our students have is the need for affirmation. It's the reason many of them try to date a bunch of people or give their hearts away too soon and to the wrong person. Early on in youth ministry, I worked to make affirmation a part of my own spiritual DNA. Because it is something I so wanted, it had to be something I've worked to give away. As I look back, I would say much of the success we've had in youth ministry is because we've chosen to build an affirming environment among our staff, our leaders, and our students.
Consciously look for things to praise and be honest and genuine in your affirmation. You will see your students begin to respond, to gain confidence, and to see themselves in the amazing way that God sees them.
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I once heard someone say that a word of encouragement after a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after a success. This is the core of our teaching in this Source. Christians are quick to say many things but I want us to focus on what we are not saying.
We would all like to think that we are encouragers but the truth is, we are mostly complainers. We are called to take care of each other, to be friendly and hospitable, but how well are we really fulfilling this calling? If we believe the Lord's return is approaching then let us throw off whatever is hindering us from lovingly encouraging weaknesses and strongly encouraging strengths in our brothers and sisters.
As leaders, we are expected to be encouragers, but I know that it is easier to be encouraged than it is to encourage. As you make encouragement a habit in your life you will find your heart being changed and your attitude uplifted and remember, whatever gets rewarded gets repeated! As Celeste Holm so wisely stated, "We live by encouragement and die without it." Listen in as we talked about "One Of Christianity's Most Ignored Messages."
Still finding ways to encourage,
In this Youth Leader's Coach I hit on a topic that, quite frankly, I do not see a lot of us being very good at, yet this is such an essential key in youth ministry! We're talking about "The Power To Bring The Best Out In People."
The implications of being able to encourage people to be all they can, are seen in every relationship - from your teenagers and leaders to your friendships and family. Authentic, genuine encouragement and affirmation has the great power to draw the best out in people! Let me dialogue with you about this vital ability we all need to keep developing in our lives. This is going to be a good one!
Affirming the best in you,
This iVolunteer resource is a COACHING RESOURCE for volunteer youth leaders who want to be the BEST they can be!
As I look back on more than four decades of youth ministry, I find that my most influential youth volunteers had one thing in common and that's what this iVolunteer, "The Most Life-Changing Skill Any Volunteer Can Cultivate," is all about. These leaders came from all different ages and backgrounds, but they shared one life-changing skill. They knew how to encourage others. It sounds simple enough, but for those of us who spend many hours with teenagers, it isn't always easy.
Listen...or watch...and I'll share some ideas that you can use to encourage even some of your most challenging students. "Three billion people go to bed hungry every single night; but four billion people go to bed hungry every night for a simple word of authentic encouragement. GO FEED SOME PEOPLE!"
Cheering you on,
This Youth Leader’s Coach is a leadership pep talk that I often give to myself. It's this kind of self-talk that has kept me in the game for over four decades. Henry Thoreau said, "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, maybe it is because he marches to the beat of a different drummer." And through the run when challenges came, I learned that no man is ever down for the count…until he quits in his own mind. So, I just get back up and keep drumming!
I hope these simple pragmatics will help you if you ever feel like you're discouraged or want to give up. And don't forget, you can never let God down. Do you know why? Because you were never holding Him up in the first place! If you don't need this encouragement now...you will. So, listen to this Youth Leader's Coach so you are prepared to just KEEP DRUMMING. If you do that my friend, I promise that heaven and I will be clapping for you.
Lovingly,
