Frog-Kissing
You know the story. A handsome prince falls victim to a jealous ugly witch. The terrible spell is cast as she pronounces to the kingdom, the prince would remain an ugly frog unless he receives a kiss from a beautiful princess. The little frog knew he was a handsome prince on the inside, but day after day he wondered if anyone, let alone a princess, could look past his ugly warts and break the spell. One day a beautiful princess walked by the pond where he lived and found him strangely alluring. In a destiny defying moment, she cradled him in her hands and kissed him! The spell of the wicked witch was broken, the warts were gone, and the ugly little frog was no longer an ugly frog but a handsome prince. And the two lived happily ever after.
Since the day I discovered that fictitious story, my attitude towards teenagers has been that of a frog-kisser. It didn't happen all at once, but daily I began asking the Lord to help me see past their warts and ugliness (the rebellion, the mediocrity, the pride, the averageness) and view them through His eyes. When I begin to see teenagers the way I believe God sees them, I'm overwhelmed with love and compassion and am able to kiss them with the kiss of encouragement.
The Bible clearly says we are to exhort and encourage one another. Translated in the Greek it means literally to put courage into one another and bring the best out of one another. We're called to see past who they are right now, and even who they portray themselves to be. Frog-kissing is simply doing the little things that make all the difference: verbally encouraging them, taking them out to lunch, doing acts of kindness that show them you believe in them. Over time you will see the prince or princess emerge before your very eyes.
After five decades of ministry, it's been my honor to watch thousands of princes and princesses enter God's eternal kingdom.
You know the story. A handsome prince falls victim to a jealous ugly witch. The terrible spell is cast as she pronounces to the kingdom, the prince would remain an ugly frog unless he receives a kiss from a beautiful princess. The little frog knew he was a handsome prince on the inside, but day after day he wondered if anyone, let alone a princess, could look past his ugly warts and break the spell. One day a beautiful princess walked by the pond where he lived and found him strangely alluring. In a destiny defying moment, she cradled him in her hands and kissed him! The spell of the wicked witch was broken, the warts were gone, and the ugly little frog was no longer an ugly frog but a handsome prince. And the two lived happily ever after.
Since the day I discovered that fictitious story, my attitude towards teenagers has been that of a frog-kisser. It didn't happen all at once, but daily I began asking the Lord to help me see past their warts and ugliness (the rebellion, the mediocrity, the pride, the averageness) and view them through His eyes. When I begin to see teenagers the way I believe God sees them, I'm overwhelmed with love and compassion and am able to kiss them with the kiss of encouragement.
The Bible clearly says we are to exhort and encourage one another. Translated in the Greek it means literally to put courage into one another and bring the best out of one another. We're called to see past who they are right now, and even who they portray themselves to be. Frog-kissing is simply doing the little things that make all the difference: verbally encouraging them, taking them out to lunch, doing acts of kindness that show them you believe in them. Over time you will see the prince or princess emerge before your very eyes.
After five decades of ministry, it's been my honor to watch thousands of princes and princesses enter God's eternal kingdom.
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I once heard someone say that a word of encouragement after a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after a success. This is the core of our teaching in this Source. Christians are quick to say many things but I want us to focus on what we are not saying.
We would all like to think that we are encouragers but the truth is, we are mostly complainers. We are called to take care of each other, to be friendly and hospitable, but how well are we really fulfilling this calling? If we believe the Lord's return is approaching then let us throw off whatever is hindering us from lovingly encouraging weaknesses and strongly encouraging strengths in our brothers and sisters.
As leaders, we are expected to be encouragers, but I know that it is easier to be encouraged than it is to encourage. As you make encouragement a habit in your life you will find your heart being changed and your attitude uplifted and remember, whatever gets rewarded gets repeated! As Celeste Holm so wisely stated, "We live by encouragement and die without it." Listen in as we talked about "One Of Christianity's Most Ignored Messages."
Still finding ways to encourage,
Rarely in our Youth Leader's Coach family do I give you a two-part coaching communication. But this Youth Leader's Coach, "Bringing Out The Best In People - Part 2," represents a topic that is so crucial that I wanted to spend more time with you on it.
You'll hear me deal with simple keys that will truly be the "make it or break it" within the relational life of both your youth ministry and your leadership team. So enjoy our moments together and know that in reality, "People are failures, not because they are stupid, but because they are not sufficiently impassioned."
Still committed to "Frog-Kissing,"
Have you ever wondered, are we really making a difference in the lives of our students, or we just deceiving ourselves? Though most people will eventually become like their leaders, not all discipleship is biblically transformational. Rather, it is easy for people to be informed, but not transformed.
The Transformational Church Research Company recently wrote a book based on their research called, Transformational Discipleship: How People Really Grow. In this Youth Leader's Coach, "Are We Discipling Or Deceived?" I give you the highlights of their research and the book helping you know if you are discipling your gang in their Transformational Sweet Spot. I share with you two things that biblical discipleship IS NOT and three steps toward accomplishing the biblical transformation we all desire.
Becoming the best we can be,
It is hard to believe that over thirty years of youth ministry have already passed. What a journey it has been! I often say, "The years will teach you what the days never know."
This series, "The Decades Speak," is a compilation of thirty of the most significant and impacting principles I have learned along the way. It's a wealth of insights and lessons learned through the hard knocks of youth ministry over the years. Let this resource be encouragement and strength for both your own heart and for your ministry.
Lovingly on Your Side,
This is Part 1 of 8, covering Lessons #1-5
Lesson #1 - The call is higher than the fall...remembering that failure is never final.
Lesson #2 - He who spends the most time wins...having a never give-up attitude.
Lesson #3 - The Stagecoach Principle...holding yourself to higher standards.
Lesson #4 - Your attitude towards them, determines their attitude towards you.
Lesson #5 - Never underestimate the average or overlook the good...becoming a frog kisser.
I could share lots of great ways to make an IMPACT on your world for Christ. But in this message I'm sharing the ONE KEY I've witnessed as being the MOST POWERFUL in reaching other people for Christ. I call it "FROG-KISSING."
John 17:15-18 challenges us to "Be IN the world...but not OF it." In this Source, I talk to students about creating a TRUE friendship culture with this passage in mind. It is a great source for challenging students to live out a friendship evangelism culture.
Committed to doing life together,
