Playbook Unlimited // Search Results For: Relationships
I can't even begin to count the number of heart-to-heart talks I have had with youth pastors regarding their senior pastors. While the reasons for the tension may vary, oftentimes at the core is a youth pastor's longing to have an affirming, loving, stable dad-type figure in his or her life. However, what is easy to fail to take into consideration is that it can be tough for a senior pastor to give away to others what he may have never experienced for himself.
This issue of Youth Leader's Coach is NOT meant to help you fix your senior pastor, but to give you 12 simple, doable suggestions on how to improve upon your relationship. And, in doing so, you might end up with exactly what you most desire. For your greatest limitation will never be the leader above you, but the spirit within you.
This Alliance, "A Leader's Friendship Trinity: Navigating Your Friendships in Ministry," is quite possibly one of the most important resources you will have heard in a while. The truth of the matter is that friendships are hard in ministry, especially for ministry leaders. The problem is that most of us spend all of our time with people who are under us as leaders. So we are forever FEEDING PEOPLE WHO CAN'T FEED US. I think this resource is worth its weight in gold. So please don't miss it. I talk about understanding the 3 categories of friends that all ministry leaders invariably have…and what you can expect from all of them.
This Youth Leader's Coach, "A Youth Leader's Guide To Clean Fights," focuses on how to handle the normal conflict situations that inevitably arise in youth ministry. I suggest six principles to help you get angry without becoming destructive. These principles will be effective with your students, your senior pastor, your leadership team, your deacon board and even your family. As a matter of fact, these principles work when I deal with anger directed towards my most common challenge-myself.
So it really is possible, even in youth ministry, to "fight clean." It's not only possible, it's essential for solid youth ministry and lasting relationships. Happy Listening.
Living out Ephesians 4:26,
I'm sharing on one of the most important topics in the whole Bible. When I tell you my topic, it will be easy for you to blow it off. But Taylor Swift didn't blow it off. As a matter of fact, she recorded a song about it that soared to the top of the Billboard Charts in just 5 weeks. That’s the quickest climb to #1 in more than 10 years and it won 5 awards.
So in this Source, "Bad Blood," taken from Taylor Swift's hit song, I'm talking about RELATIONSHIP PAIN and having the guts to make things right between you and another person. Why do you think the song is so popular? I think it's because we all understand the ripping of relational hurt, pain, and unforgiveness...whether in a romance or just a normal friendship. I can't remember ever building a message around a pop song before. But this one deserves a listen.
While strong words, I believe covering this topic, "Breaking Free Of Relational Soul Ties," in our youth ministries can and will save the spiritual lives of some of our students. A "soul tie" is an emotional connection or bond with another person that unites us in a deep, very significant fashion. The relationship can, and usually does, drive what we think, feel, and desire. While not always wrong, negative ones that blur our spiritual vision can destroy us! I would go so far as to say that negative "soul ties" are one of the top reasons many of our teenagers walk away from their faith in Christ.
So, buckle your seat belts and get ready. We pull out all the stops in this Source by explaining multiple ways "soul ties" are formed and seven ways to break free from them. Drawing from my own personal story, a lot of Scripture and two well written monologues, your students are sure to walk away with an expanded arsenal of weapons to guard against and conquer negative "soul ties."
Are you, by the way you handle relationships, a "Chew And Spit Person"? Many of us would consider people who just chew their food to get the PLEASURES OF TASTE, without swallowing or digesting the food to be crazy, right? However, this is the approach many people take when it comes to sex. They say, "I want to pursue this relationship sexually, but I'm not interested in doing it within the context of marriage. Like a person that chews food for the taste and spits it out, with premarital sex, we just want a "taste"...and then throw the person to the floor.
In this month's Source, "Chew and Spit Romance," I'm talking about what the Bible says about sex outside of marriage. It's a touchy topic, but with some creative elements and an incredible closing story, this message is one that students can deeply listen to.
All great leaders go for the ASK (Always Seeking Knowledge). So, ask yourself, "Do you have any crazy people in your ministry?" In this General Session, Ed Young, Lead Pastor at Fellowship Church, gives us 15 character qualities of crazy people to help us recognize them, then gives us tips how to keep them from taking too much of our time away from those that really need it. Listen, as Ed takes a look at the life of Daniel and learn from Daniel's wisdom as he dealt with the crazy people in his life.
In this Youth Leader's Coach I get to deal with one of my favorite topics, "Cultivating A Healthy Marriage While Doing Youth Ministry." Not a glamorous title, but unfortunately a topic so strategic that it's taken a whole lot of great people out of ministry.
Success for me is that "Those who know me best, love me most," and at the top of the list is my amazing husband and sons. But so often the relationships in your life that are the most precious, with the passing of time, become the most familiar. So in this Youth Leader's Coach I share 10 things that I have learned to keep my marriage a healthy and fulfilling one while in the youth ministry trenches. Even if you're not married, listening to this will help you understand the priorities of your leaders who are and help to prepare you for the day that you too may share your life and ministry with a spouse.
Imagine a church where the pastoral staff is unified, where everyone shares the same vision, and strives to see EVERY ministry be successful. This CAN BE a reality! Come hear from Pastor Sam Mayo (40+ years as a senior pastor and Jeanne's "hero") and Marty Darracott (10+ years of youth ministry experience) as they discuss the tools and tactics behind building positive pastoral staff relationships that will change your church!
"ENTANGLED"...Sounds like a title from an afternoon Soap, doesn't it? But it's really a message geared to helping your students in their romantic and relational lives. It's a theme we hit often in youth ministry because it is the number one way the Enemy attempts to take your students out of the ballgame. The entanglement of wrong romantic relationships and wrong friendships is a repeating theme in significant youth ministry.
You'll especially enjoy the powerful closing story which you can easily act out for a creative ingredient of the night. Most of all, may the night have eternal destiny for your kids as you encourage them to live a life that is not...ENTANGLED.
You should love me after this Source! This is an original full-length outreach drama, entitled "Fade Out Again." It focuses on the pain of splintered families, with an ending that makes a salvation invitation very easy.
Jonathan, a struggling young teenager, finds it difficult to fit in at school or at home. He chronicles his pain in a treasured journal of poetry. A couple of "sub-themes" in the drama that prove to provide powerful prayer points include suicide and self-mutilation.
Yes, outreach dramas like this are a lot of work. But I've cut your efforts in half. So take the time and invest yourself in a night like "Fade Out Again." As you watch the large group of visitors pile in your doors and then later linger during closing prayer time, I'm sure you will think that your efforts were well spent.
All of time management is a trade-off. Unfortunately, for those of us in ministry, that trade-off can easily become our family. However, my personal definition of success is having "those who know me BEST love me MOST." I'm wholeheartedly committed to saying that my family always came before my ministry. That's why this quarter I'm sharing on "Family vs. Ministry: The Eternal Tug of War."
We simply can't put ourselves on autopilot and expect to have a good family and a good marriage. I repeat back to myself often, "Jeanne, your most important ministry is not when you DRIVE OUT of your driveway in the morning, but when you DRIVE BACK IN." Sadly though, I find that it's easier to put more energy into special events at the youth group than into family nights. My heart, as you and your gang listen to this resource, is that it becomes authentically helpful in balancing the world of family and ministry.
In this Source, "Fatal Friendships," I return to a subject I frequently discuss with my gang. It's hard to overstate the influence that friends have in your student's lives.
We use Jonah as an example of the dangers of keeping too close to the wrong type of friends. We take it further than just showing them the risks - I end with a powerful small group time of communion where I challenge them to pursue positive friendship circles through effort and not by chance!
You'll enjoy this one! We've provided two optional skits to use with this message (you choose which one you want), an overview of the small group communion time, an additional small group outline, leadership materials and more.
Lovingly your biggest fan,
Relationships are a theme we often teach on in youth ministry because it's the number one way the Enemy attempts to take out your students. One of the "signatures" of our youth ministry is to cultivate HEALTHY, GREAT CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIPS. But "FEELINGS" can make that goal pretty complicated sometimes when it comes to FRIENDSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX.
I wanted to connect with the hearts of my students, so I hosted two "focus groups," one with guys and the other one with girls. I asked them to talk about their FEELINGS when it came to building HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS with the opposite sex...what they WISHED their counterparts KNEW. Listen in to the 12 things the guys wanted the girls to know...and the 14 things the girls wanted me to pass on to the guys. I added a memorable story and God's concept of unselfish friendship and Christian love outlined for us in 1 Corinthians 13. It was a light hearted evening that conveyed some pretty profound truths.
There's not much more of a current way to approach the topic of friendships than Facebook. It's a social networking phenomenon! However, it's going to take more than Facebook and imaginary cyber-space friends to fill the chasm in our hearts for authentic friendship.
Through multiple methods of creative communication, in this issue of the Source, "How Many Facebook Friends Do You Have?," we address one of the top things that can rob a person of their destiny and purpose...their choice of friends. Not only do students come away challenged to examine their friends, but also to evaluate how they, themselves, measure up when it comes to the friendship factor.
So, grab a cup of coffee and listen in on the skit, stories and Scripture that I use to challenge my students to take their friendships to a whole new level of intentionality. As always, know that I'm eternally grateful that you're a part of our Source family.
What do zombies have to do with being a Christian? According to The Zombie Survival Guide, "Working together, always together, has shown to be the only successful strategy for staying alive and conquering the enemy." That sounds like a pretty amazing slice of the New Testament to me! And so, we used this night to set the stage as we begin the journey of new Life Groups in our ministry.
This Source, "How To Survive A Zombie Attack: Dead Men Walk Alone," shares six key purposes for doing life together in groups, like "experiencing genuine Christian friendships" and "helping each other grow spiritually." It's packed with some fun skits, an inspirational story, lots of Scripture and, as a special bonus, we even give you the Leader's Guide we used when our Life Groups met for the first time. If you are thinking about starting Life Groups in your ministry, or if your current groups need some "new life," you're going to want to listen to this one.
Committed to doing life together,
Recently I read an issue from the Harvard Business Review, one of the most prestigious management and business periodicals published in the 21 Century. The article that caught my attention was called, "How Will You Measure Your Life?"
Though this is a strictly secular publication, the parallels to God's Word so jumped out to me, I'm dedicating this Youth Leader's Coach to looking closely at the three simple questions the writer of the article, a professor at Harvard asked his students. His questions were, "How can I assure that I will be happy in my career?" "How can I be sure that my relationships with my spouse, family, and closest friends become an ENDURING source of happiness?" and "How can I be sure that I'll stay out of jail?"
The bottom line is so simple...and one that we as Christians deal with on a daily basis. So, listen in, as I share my thoughts with you.
What a fun topic! We were in a series at our youth ministry called "At The Movies." It's where we're taking a look at some of the most popular movies that have come out recently and finding how they reflect some pretty powerful truths from the Word of God. In this resource, we're talking about "Interstellar: Impossible...But Necessary."
There are so many life-giving biblical truths that can be pulled from this movie. I'm sharing on just 3 that I believe can revolutionize our walk with Christ if we grab ahold of them. So listen in to this illustrated message as we talk about prioritizing relationships, God's love for us, and doing something with our lives that may seem impossible, but necessary!
For many, there is a little unspoken competition going on with Facebook. The battle of the numbers! Who has the most "friends" and, if you're "popular" enough to have exceeded the 5,000 "friend maximum," who has the most "fans"? With over 37 million hitting his fan page, the teenage heartthrob, Justin Bieber, has us all beat...exponentially! But, in all reality, the majority of his Facebook fans, he's never met...and the majority of our Facebook friends, we probably wouldn't feel comfortable calling on in a time of need. Given the opportunity, I believe many of us would exchange our countless Facebook "friends" for one truly authentic, "best" friend.
"Best friend" is the word picture we use in this Source, "Jesus: Best Friend Or Facebook Fan?" to describe the relationship Christ desires to have with us. We use a fun "Bieber-fever" type skit, an object lesson, and a handful of stories to drive home four steps on how to move our relationship with the Lord from "Fan" to "Best Friend."
When people have asked me over the years what the number ONE enemy of my ministry run has been, I have one consistent answer: "My own MIND GAMES!" Statistics tell us that we speak at a rate of 200 words per minute, but think at approximately 1,300 words a minute. That's a lot of "self-talk" going on in my own head. More often than not, the ME inside of my own mind is pretty full of mental battles that could kick me to the curb if I allow them. However, if I choose to take control of my own head, with the help of Christ and His Word, I really can grow past these emotional traps.
That's why this ALLIANCE is a really important one. Ministry for a lot of us can be pretty lonely as we try to navigate through the warzones in our own heads. Our prayer for this Alliance is that it is a safe place for youth pastors and youth leaders to share candidly with each other on this life-impacting topic. In a world of surface level relationships in ministry, please make this ALLIANCE a place of authentic friendship and healing honesty.