Wall Builders
One of the worst things we've allowed to happen in the Body of Christ is to have friendships within the walls of the church and another group of friends outside those walls. Somewhere along the lines of youth ministry we've allowed the wall between the two groups to grow higher and higher. Eventually the sad result is that one wall becomes so high, it's too hard for teenagers to climb and they are left abandoned in one of the two worlds. Unfortunately, the world they discover themselves in is a far cry from positive and eventually they lose sight of a relationship with Christ. It is our responsibility as youth pastors and youth leaders to create an environment where those same friends who pray with them on Wednesday nights inside the ivory church tower, are the same individuals they have fun with on weekend nights, the same people they eat lunch with during the week, and the same ones they call when they fail a test, lose a game, or experience the loss of a loved one.
For a million reasons, an appropriate amount of time must be spent with non-believers while distance should be kept with other non-believers. It isn't easy. In the beginning, for your amazing strong leaders, it will be lonely and at times miserable. But friends will come as they build relationships, connect with others they relate to and watch them come to know Christ.
Encourage them to be forefront individuals who know the sense of purpose and determination. Believe in them and make sure they don't stand alone. And as you stand beside them, let me say to you...the same principle applies. There are men and women in and out of ministry who do not produce positive spiritual energy in you. It might be another pastor, who when the two of you get together, only multiplies the cynicism in your talk. Or maybe it is the fellow leader who shares a similar weakness and instead of being an accountability partner becomes a haven for destruction. Regardless of the situation you may find yourself in, the truth remains. It wouldn't matter if you are thirteen, twenty-six, or fifty-five, your friends will continually develop the path you travel and create the person you become.
I challenge you for the sake of your teenagers and for the sake of your own life, make this a phrase you say often and one you can honestly say you live by...
"Show me your friends and I'll show you your future."
One of the worst things we've allowed to happen in the Body of Christ is to have friendships within the walls of the church and another group of friends outside those walls. Somewhere along the lines of youth ministry we've allowed the wall between the two groups to grow higher and higher. Eventually the sad result is that one wall becomes so high, it's too hard for teenagers to climb and they are left abandoned in one of the two worlds. Unfortunately, the world they discover themselves in is a far cry from positive and eventually they lose sight of a relationship with Christ. It is our responsibility as youth pastors and youth leaders to create an environment where those same friends who pray with them on Wednesday nights inside the ivory church tower, are the same individuals they have fun with on weekend nights, the same people they eat lunch with during the week, and the same ones they call when they fail a test, lose a game, or experience the loss of a loved one.
For a million reasons, an appropriate amount of time must be spent with non-believers while distance should be kept with other non-believers. It isn't easy. In the beginning, for your amazing strong leaders, it will be lonely and at times miserable. But friends will come as they build relationships, connect with others they relate to and watch them come to know Christ.
Encourage them to be forefront individuals who know the sense of purpose and determination. Believe in them and make sure they don't stand alone. And as you stand beside them, let me say to you...the same principle applies. There are men and women in and out of ministry who do not produce positive spiritual energy in you. It might be another pastor, who when the two of you get together, only multiplies the cynicism in your talk. Or maybe it is the fellow leader who shares a similar weakness and instead of being an accountability partner becomes a haven for destruction. Regardless of the situation you may find yourself in, the truth remains. It wouldn't matter if you are thirteen, twenty-six, or fifty-five, your friends will continually develop the path you travel and create the person you become.
I challenge you for the sake of your teenagers and for the sake of your own life, make this a phrase you say often and one you can honestly say you live by...
"Show me your friends and I'll show you your future."
Related Items
I often say, "Show me your friends...and I'll show you your future!" So, if there is one topic that I think creates more spiritual fatality figures than anything else...it's relationships.
In this Source, I call, "OVERBOARD: Disconnecting from Toxic Friendships," we look at the story of Jonah and the impact of letting the wrong people get too close. Using stories, an illustration and a simple drama, the negative friendship cycle is exposed in hope that students don't get pulled in and swallowed up by it. For it's been proven time and time again, you can't live in Jonah's boat and avoid Jonah's future.
After over five decades in youth ministry, without comparison, no other area is more easily and often used of the Enemy to unravel students spiritually than negative friendships. Frequently, when their lives begin to come apart, all you have to do is look around and see what friends they have recently "brought on-board."
Lovingly,
In this Source, "Fatal Friendships," I return to a subject I frequently discuss with my gang. It's hard to overstate the influence that friends have in your student's lives.
We use Jonah as an example of the dangers of keeping too close to the wrong type of friends. We take it further than just showing them the risks - I end with a powerful small group time of communion where I challenge them to pursue positive friendship circles through effort and not by chance!
You'll enjoy this one! We've provided two optional skits to use with this message (you choose which one you want), an overview of the small group communion time, an additional small group outline, leadership materials and more.
Lovingly your biggest fan,
For many, there is a little unspoken competition going on with Facebook. The battle of the numbers! Who has the most "friends" and, if you're "popular" enough to have exceeded the 5,000 "friend maximum," who has the most "fans"? With over 37 million hitting his fan page, the teenage heartthrob, Justin Bieber, has us all beat...exponentially! But, in all reality, the majority of his Facebook fans, he's never met...and the majority of our Facebook friends, we probably wouldn't feel comfortable calling on in a time of need. Given the opportunity, I believe many of us would exchange our countless Facebook "friends" for one truly authentic, "best" friend.
"Best friend" is the word picture we use in this Source, "Jesus: Best Friend Or Facebook Fan?" to describe the relationship Christ desires to have with us. We use a fun "Bieber-fever" type skit, an object lesson, and a handful of stories to drive home four steps on how to move our relationship with the Lord from "Fan" to "Best Friend."
Lovingly,
While strong words, I believe covering this topic, "Breaking Free Of Relational Soul Ties," in our youth ministries can and will save the spiritual lives of some of our students. A "soul tie" is an emotional connection or bond with another person that unites us in a deep, very significant fashion. The relationship can, and usually does, drive what we think, feel, and desire. While not always wrong, negative ones that blur our spiritual vision can destroy us! I would go so far as to say that negative "soul ties" are one of the top reasons many of our teenagers walk away from their faith in Christ.
So, buckle your seat belts and get ready. We pull out all the stops in this Source by explaining multiple ways "soul ties" are formed and seven ways to break free from them. Drawing from my own personal story, a lot of Scripture and two well written monologues, your students are sure to walk away with an expanded arsenal of weapons to guard against and conquer negative "soul ties."
Lovingly,
I'm sharing on one of the most important topics in the whole Bible. When I tell you my topic, it will be easy for you to blow it off. But Taylor Swift didn't blow it off. As a matter of fact, she recorded a song about it that soared to the top of the Billboard Charts in just 5 weeks. That’s the quickest climb to #1 in more than 10 years and it won 5 awards.
So in this Source, "Bad Blood," taken from Taylor Swift's hit song, I'm talking about RELATIONSHIP PAIN and having the guts to make things right between you and another person. Why do you think the song is so popular? I think it's because we all understand the ripping of relational hurt, pain, and unforgiveness...whether in a romance or just a normal friendship. I can't remember ever building a message around a pop song before. But this one deserves a listen.
Lovingly,
