Trying to be EVERYTHING for EVERYONE?
This blog entry is probably destined to be one of your favorites. Let me share candidly with you on burnout. After nearly 50 years in full-time youth ministry, I've obviously experienced my share of this. So, I wanted to share with you some of the pragmatic and medical things I have learned through the journey that can help you in this crucial area.
Let's define BURNOUT. It's an emotional response we can all feel when we are carrying a large amount of weight. It's like the more we GIVE, the less fulfilled we FEEL. I would say the key word that explains burnout is demoralizing. You are just worn out. You don't want to give another ounce of yourself.
So what's the ROOT CAUSE here? I think it comes down to one thing. We are trying to be EVERYTHING to EVERYONE. This is the fast track to burnout. We have to come to the point where we realize we can't do it all. So here are my simple thoughts to manage burnout in youth ministry
Aggressively build a FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE you can be honest with. According to surveys done by the Fuller Institute of Church Growth, 70% of pastors have no one they consider to be a close friend and 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last 3 months. Those are staggering statistics and I suspect that the numbers aren't too different for youth pastors and leaders. Youth ministry can be agonizingly lonely. Without someone to turn to, to share honest feelings with, we can all become victims of burnout.
Take care of any unfinished EMOTIONAL business. Burnout can creep into the heart that holds resentment. Without honestly confronting emotional issues with someone, you can be weighed down with bitterness, hurt, pain and resentment. I often say, "Unforgiveness is allowing a person to live rent-free in your mind." We must all handle our unfinished emotional business with care.
Learn to honor a youth leader's Sabbath and to create your own seasons of rest. I won't say much about this one, but I will add a word of encouragement. Do this one GUILT FREE, which can be especially hard if you have the disease to please like I do. However, I have to tell myself, no one can put me on a guilt trip, unless I'm willing to buy the ticket.
Most of all, I wanted you to realize that when you feel pretty seriously stressed and even burned out, you are understood and not crazy! We all walk through seasons like this. My prayer is that these simple thoughts will help you the next time life feels like it's closing in on you.
I love you, my friends.
This blog entry is probably destined to be one of your favorites. Let me share candidly with you on burnout. After nearly 50 years in full-time youth ministry, I've obviously experienced my share of this. So, I wanted to share with you some of the pragmatic and medical things I have learned through the journey that can help you in this crucial area.
Let's define BURNOUT. It's an emotional response we can all feel when we are carrying a large amount of weight. It's like the more we GIVE, the less fulfilled we FEEL. I would say the key word that explains burnout is demoralizing. You are just worn out. You don't want to give another ounce of yourself.
So what's the ROOT CAUSE here? I think it comes down to one thing. We are trying to be EVERYTHING to EVERYONE. This is the fast track to burnout. We have to come to the point where we realize we can't do it all. So here are my simple thoughts to manage burnout in youth ministry
Aggressively build a FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE you can be honest with. According to surveys done by the Fuller Institute of Church Growth, 70% of pastors have no one they consider to be a close friend and 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last 3 months. Those are staggering statistics and I suspect that the numbers aren't too different for youth pastors and leaders. Youth ministry can be agonizingly lonely. Without someone to turn to, to share honest feelings with, we can all become victims of burnout.
Take care of any unfinished EMOTIONAL business. Burnout can creep into the heart that holds resentment. Without honestly confronting emotional issues with someone, you can be weighed down with bitterness, hurt, pain and resentment. I often say, "Unforgiveness is allowing a person to live rent-free in your mind." We must all handle our unfinished emotional business with care.
Learn to honor a youth leader's Sabbath and to create your own seasons of rest. I won't say much about this one, but I will add a word of encouragement. Do this one GUILT FREE, which can be especially hard if you have the disease to please like I do. However, I have to tell myself, no one can put me on a guilt trip, unless I'm willing to buy the ticket.
Most of all, I wanted you to realize that when you feel pretty seriously stressed and even burned out, you are understood and not crazy! We all walk through seasons like this. My prayer is that these simple thoughts will help you the next time life feels like it's closing in on you.
I love you, my friends.
Related Items
This Youth Leader's Coach is such a crucial topic for each of us. I'm talking about "Spiritual Burnout." This is so much more than the classic physical burnout, even though there are many ties and connections between the two. But I could call this subject "when doing all you can, doesn't seem to be enough."
Wow, we all find ourselves there from time to time. Let me share with you some of the invaluable keys I have learned from many years in youth ministry to pull myself out of spiritual burnout and continue the course. I would have given anything to have been told these things years ago! So make this one part of your permanent collection and pull it out again and again.
Still lovingly in your corner,
According to surveys done by the Fuller Institute of Church Growth, 70% of pastors have no one they consider to be a close friend and 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last 3 months. Those are staggering statistics and I suspect that the numbers aren't too different for youth pastors and leaders.
This Youth Leader's Coach, "Coping With Stress and Burnout In Youth Ministry," is probably destined to be one of your favorites. I share candidly with you on stress and burnout. After 35 years in fulltime youth ministry, I've obviously experienced my share of both of these. So I wanted to share with you some of the pragmatic and medical things I have learned through the journey that can help you in these crucial areas.
Most of all, I wanted you to realize that when you feel pretty seriously stressed and even burned out, you are understood and not crazy! It's my honor to send this Youth Leader's Coach your way. Keep it filed somewhere so you can pull it out occasionally. It probably will be worth listening to more than once.
Lovingly Your Sis,
"Worn Out And Empty"...that's a pretty unusual title for one of our youth ministry mentoring times together, isn't it? Yet those four words are realities all of us can relate to all too well at different times in our ministries.
As I share my heart with you on the subject, I hope you will be able to receive this Youth Leader's Coach as a love-gift from Jesus' heart to yours. We all deal with times when the repetition and demands of youth ministry leave us "worn out and empty." We all occasionally struggle to find the emotional energy necessary to keep going...in our ministries, our jobs, our families and sometimes even in our personal walks with Christ.
So prayerfully, our time together will really speak to you. If not, may I make a suggestion? Just consider keeping this somewhere within easy reach. Because all too soon, you'll find the ebb and flow of youth ministry (and life) will leave you saying to yourself, "Where did I put that Youth Leader's Coach?"
Lovingly yours,
The diagnosis is in and I've got a dreaded disease! In fact, it's a disease I've been battling for quite awhile. I wouldn't be surprised if you have it too! It's certainly not as serious as cancer or leukemia, but damaging nonetheless. It goes by the name of "The Disease To Please."
This serious emotional disease can become both consuming and crippling if we are forever striving to "be liked" and "approved of." For when our people-pleasing side gets too big in our lives, our God-pleasing side invariably gets too little.
The good news is that it's curable and, for the most part, all starts and stops in our head. So grab a cup of coffee and listen in on the causes, effects and ways to conquer this debilitating disease and frequent root of ministry burnout.
Gaining ground little by little,
One of the questions that I get asked frequently is, "How do you get it all done?" What they mean is, "How do you balance, raising two amazing sons...being a wife to my hero, who was also my senior pastor for many, many years...AND...growing youth ministries...being the principal of a thriving Christian school...a traveling speaking schedule...now the Cadre, continue to produce mentoring resources each month, oversee the Atlanta Leadership College and youth ministries for Victory World Church at multiple campuses...How do you get it all done?"
How often in ministry people have "quit," saying they were "burned out"...but instead, they actually failed to properly "manage their energy" properly. Thus they didn't stay emotionally motivated and engaged in their careers. That's why researchers say that one of the key reasons why people quit careers and suffer from what they call "BURN OUT" should more accurately be called BOREDOM.
Listen in, as I give a 16-question assessment on the four dimensions where energy is needed. Keep score of the number of times you answer "TRUE" to each of these 16 questions...then I'll give you what the research tells about your score when it comes to your own personal energy management.
Determined to live a 100X life,
